Lucy's Toaster
by Neet92
Summary: Lucy gets a toaster. A very...peculiar toaster. My 1st fanfic. Rated T for...a disembodied limb. Inspired by Foamy the Squirrel, who is owned by illwillpress a.k.a JIMathers.


**Lucy's Toaster**

 **Hi! My name is Neet92 and this is my first EVER story on Fanfiction. Needless to say, I'm a bit nervous but eager to show my stuff. The stories I've been reading so far have got my creative juices flowing, so I'm going for it. Constructive criticism(and maybe some pointers and advice) will go a long way and are appreciated.**

 **Also, I do not own The Loud House. If I did, then Lincoln would be calling his sisters out on their mistakes.**

* * *

On the corner 1216 Franklin Avenue, we see a mailman driving his mail truck, pulling up to a mailbox that stood in front of an infamous house on the block.

The Loud House.

After grabbing a certain package, the mailman turned back to put it in the mailbox. Only to find…

"GAH!"

...a pale little girl wearing a black dress with black and white arm sleeves and kneesocks, complete with black shoes. Her hair was also black, bangs completely covering her eyes.

The mailman knows this denizen of the Loud House all too well.

"Hello, Lucy.", he greeted, taking deep breaths to lower his spiked heart rate her sudden appearance caused.

"Hi.", Lucy responded in her signature monotone. "Is my package here yet?"

"Oh. You mean this?", the mailman said before showing her said item.

A soft gasp and smile escaped Lucy's lips as took hold of the package. The man couldn't see it, but her eyes were widened with joy and excitement.

"It's finally here! Eeeeee!", the goth Loud squealed. Again, in monotone.

"Heh. Sounds like you were eager for this to be delivered.", the mailman chuckled before turning to grab a clipboard holding a paper with some information. "Now, if you could just sig-"

Only to find that Lucy Loud was already gone.

"...I swear, that girl is going to give someone a heart attack one of these days.", The man sighed before driving off to the next block of houses.

* * *

Back inside the house, the rest of the Loud siblings were in the living room, each doing their own thing. Lori sat on the couch, texting to her Bobby while Leni was watching TV. Luna was playing on her acoustic guitar while Luan was coming up with new jokes and skits in her notebooks. Lynn was trying to break her own personal record in a game of hacky sack. Lola and Lana were, once again, caught in an age old argument between elegance and dirtiness. Lisa was calculating quantum equations while Lily was playing with her blocks. The parents were currently out doing errands, leaving Lori to hold down the fort once more. Lincoln, the sole son and brother of the family, was just coming the stairs to get a snack when the front door was kicked opened. The sudden action stopped all activities as all looked toward the door, only to see a smiling Lucy bounding toward the kitchen, chanting "It's finally here, it's finally here!" as she made her mad dash. Curiosity rising, the siblings looked at each other for a moment before following the eight year old, Leni scooping up Lily in the process.

* * *

Entering the kitchen, the sisters and brother found a kneeling Lucy having already opened the package and was currently digging through bubble wrap.

"Hey, Lucy. Whatcha got there?", Lincoln asked as the siblings approached.

"Yeah, what's in the box?", Luan further inquired. "Not a head, I hope. Hehe!"

"I wish. You guys remember the lottery I told you about that was being held in my Eldritch Poetry Club last week?", Lucy asked as she continued digging.

"Yeah. I also remember that you wouldn't stop talking about it for the past week as well. Nearly drove me insane.", Lynn commented, tossing and catching her hacky sack.

"For good reason.", the goth replied. "My name was pulled in that lottery and the winner gets a very special prize. And that prize just arrived in the mail today." As she said this, Lucy's hands came into contact something cool and metal to the touch. Her smile widened to the point of showing her teeth.

"Well, pull it out already! I wanna see it!", Lola exclaimed, her curiosity overflowing.

"Yeah, I wanna see it too!", concurred Lana as the twins tried to peek over Lucy's shoulders.

Pulling the the item out of the box, Lucy placed it on top of the kitchen counter for all to see.

As the Loud siblings finally got a clear look at Lucy's prize, they found themselves…..a tad let down by what they saw.

"A toaster.", Lori said, deadpanned. "All that hype….for a toaster?"

Lucy's lottery prize was, indeed, a toaster. However, it's appearance was very unique. The electrical kitchen appliance was red. Blood red. With the most distinguishing part on the front. A beastly-looking skull with glaring eye-sockets, long devilishly curved horns and a black tongue on where the toasting lever was suppose to be.

"I've read dull and rudimentary cold fusion factors that were a more thrilling find than this.", lisped Lisa, voicing her dissatisfaction.

"H-hey, now. At least it looks...cool.", countered Lincoln, albeit weakly. He, too, found Lucy's prize very anticlimactic, but couldn't find in him to really harp on the household appliance with his younger sister right there.

"Eeeeh, it does look a bit wicked. I'll give you that, bro.", Luna admitted. "But, still. It's a toaster, dude."

"Uuugh.", whined Leni. The appearance of the toaster was, for some reason, rubbing the ditzy blonde the wrong way. "I don't like it. It's, like, totes creepy."

Lily concurred with her older sister as she whimpered at the sight of it.

"Man, what a lame prize to win. I say you send it back, Luce.", spoke Lynn.

"Better idea: Send it back in pieces. You know, just to send a message to them that we don't like their idea of a 'prize'.", quipped Lola, giving a shooing motion with her hand.

"I'll go get the hammer.", Lana stated but, before she turned to go get it, Lucy stopped her with a hand on the tomboy's shoulder.

"Don't. It's perfect. This is exactly what I wanted.", said Lucy, her joyous smile contrasting her voice.

Her siblings glanced at her, an eyebrow arched for each as they silently questioned the raven-haired girl's sanity.

"This isn't just any toaster.", said Lucy.

"Oh? Then, if I may ask, what is it?", retorted Lisa.

"It's the toaster from the haunted house in Amytiville."

Somewhere outside, the Loud children heard the wind howl. Ominously.

"Amytiville? As in…...The Amytiville Horror?", Lincoln questioned.

"The very one.", Lucy answered as she walks over to the pantry to get some white bread.

"You mean that scary movie with Burt Reynolds!?", Leni fearfully exclaimed.

"No! Not that one, the first one!", the goth shouted.

"First one?...Oh, she means the good one. But more importantly, are you telling us that you won a haunted toaster?", the sole brother said.

"I sure did. Watch this.", replied Lucy as she came back with two pieces of white bread and put them in the toaster slots. "You put in regular white bread and…"

She pushes down on the lever.

 **48 seconds later…**

 _*CHING*_

The toast was done and popped out of the toaster…

...only it wasn't toasted white bread.

Rather, it was…

"Wheat toast?", Lisa stated, feeling quite...perplexed. Which was rare for the prodigy. "How did this toaster turn white bread into wheat toast?"

"No one knows.", Lucy mysteriously responded. "Wanna know something even cooler? If you put in wheat bread, you get pumpernickel. You put in pumpernickel, you get a blueberry muffin."

The rest of Loud siblings raised their eyebrows at that statement.

"Bull. And I'm puttin' 20 bucks on it.", proclaimed Lynn, tossing the hacky sack away before pulling a twenty dollar bill out of her pocket and slapping it down on the counter.

"Alright, fine. It just so happens I have some pumpernickel bread right here.", Lucy retorted to her roommate as she pulled out what was, indeed, pumpernickel bread out of her dress pocket.

"Err, how and where did you get pumpernickel bread?", asked Luan, puzzled.

"That's not important right now.", concluded the eight year old as she placed the bread in the slot and the lever down.

 **56 seconds later…**

 _*CHING*_

The toaster popped….and out came two halves of a blueberry muffin.

"Wooooooooah!", exclaimed the twins in awe and disbelief.

Lynn stood there with her jaw dropped, speechless, as her 20 dollars was claimed by a smug Lucy. Lisa was pretty much in the same state as her jock sister. She had no explanation as to how

"Okay, literally, color me shocked and awed.", said Lori, feeling what she just said.

"Dude, that is some freaky stuff!", expressed Luna, wonder evident in her voice.

"I'll say. Who would've thought a blueberry muffin toasted from pumpernickel would taste this good?", said Lincoln as he ate one half of the muffin.

"Hey, can I have the other half? It'd be berry generous of you. Hehe!", joked Luan, earning a groan from her younger brother before he gave the other half to her.

"Hey, what happens if you put a bagel in there?", queried Leni, now not so unnerved by the magical appliance.

"Good question.", answered Lucy as she pulled out said bagel.

 **6798 seconds later…**

 _*CHING*_

Again, the toaster popped.

What came out wasn't even in the grain category.

"Is...is that a pork chop?", Lola asked, quite stumped. Lisa, at this point, had fainted. The toaster's ability to break logic and physics proving too much for the four-year old genius. Luckily, Lincoln was right there to catch her before her body hit the floor.

"Awww, man. I was hoping for something different. Like a cake or something.", spoke Lana.

"Riie waffoo!", Lily shouted with glee.

"Oooo, good one, Lily! Yeah, try waffles!", concurred Lynn.

At that suggestion, Lucy's smile was replaced with grimace.

"Oh...I….I don't think that's a good idea.", said the gothic Loud.

"Why?", the Loud siblings cautiously asked as one.

"Well, if I remember correctly, you'd get a human hand if you put a waffle in there."

Again, the wind outside the house howled. Even more ominously. The spines of the Loud children shivered.

"Okay, new rule: Only use bread on spooky toaster! All those in favor raise your hand!", commanded Lori.

All hands were raised. Even Lucy's.

"Unanimous decision. Motion carried."

With decree made, the Loud children exited the kitchen, leaving behind the Amytiville Toaster and returning to their own activities.

…

* * *

 **987 seconds later…**

 _*CHING*_

The toaster popped again. And out came…

"W-woah.", said Lynn in a hushed voice. "It's a toasted human hand."

"That is the most metal thing I've ever seen in my life.", spoke Luna in a awed whisper.

"WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU TWO!?", Lori yelled.

 **The End**


End file.
